Wednesday, November 11, 2009

More Introductions

Today, while I continue playing with my blog's layout and deciding what direction I want to take with this endeavor, I will share a fun post from a message board I frequent. Someone asked, "If you came with instructions, what would your instructions say?"

Me- Requires very little sleep and when asleep only does so lightly thus is available at any time to meet the needs of the other products in the home. Silences loud noises. Melts in heat. Must be prompted to enter the kitchen. Also, any sort of gentle touching or tickling agitates, but appreciates genuine hugs. Capable of super-whistle power in order to confirm the position or attention of the other products in the home.

DH- Be aware that you have chosen a product with selective hearing and/ or selective mutism. To improve hearing and speech quality remove TV remotes and make sure product is in the upright position. Also, be aware that this product is capable of superhuman endurance and will work without food until collapse. To end work mode return TV remote.

Christian- Product is sensitive to heat and light. For happiest results keep product in cool, dimly lit, teenage boy cave and only remove for short periods of time. When outside the cave, this product is equipped with empathy software and may intuitively seek to do things to better the home environment. However, being within an undetermined radius of the two smaller products in the home may short out the empathy software.

Grayson- Sensitive speech software. Expect to speak clearly and patiently in order to achieve maximum output. This product can typically be expected to handle smallest product with great tolerance. Also does dishes!

Duncan- Danger. High Voltage. Do not expose to any measurable amount of sugar as this increases the likelihood of output overload. Be aware that this product is self-teaching and adorable while sleeping.

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